The Truth Behind Words
by Toaster Stroodal
Summary: Have you ever been told you're "Ugly"? Have you ever been told you should be "Ashamed" of your body? Has anyone ever told you you'd never be "Beautiful", "Bountiful", or "Pretty"? I've been told all these things, and here's my story.
1. Chapter I(1)

_Chapter_ _I-_

 _The "Ugly"_

Have you ever been called _"Ugly"_? Have you ever been told that you should be " _Ashamed"_ of your body? Has anyone ever said you would never be _"Beautiful"_ , _"Bountiful"_ , or _"Pretty"_? Many have told me that. To be honest with you, I never understood how I could keep my head above water with the burning pain of torment tearing at my flesh. So I decided after I went through the torment, why not tell others my story? Why not make a story dedicated to all those out there who are being bullied? I certainly saw nothing wrong with it. I hope you enjoy my life story, even if you aren't being bullied at the moment!

It was a beautiful day in ThunderClan when I was born. I was born into fresh air, with the fragrance of flowers surrounding me. My mother was smiling down at her three kits with the happiest smile I had ever seen. My father was right beside her, smiling down so happily down at us. Until he saw me. I was the ugliest, most hideous light brown furball he had ever seen. I did not know it at the time, but I was hated. I was saw as the difference, the ugly difference between me and my sisters. Mother decided to name me Fernkit. Father begged to differ. He said that such a pretty name shouldn't be given to something so hideous as me, and rather to one of my sisters. My mother, of course, opposed the idea. She was the only kin that cared about me, and I was fine just as long as she loved me. But that began to change.

"You're so ugly!" Seedkit taunted. Poppykit snorted with laughter. Those taunts, I ignored. After so long, they stopped stinging, and just started to get plain annoying. I was fine with my littermates hating me, I was fine with my father hating me. I understood for someone as young as me that wasn't going to change. The day I became an apprentice was probably the best day I ever had since I was born.

"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey join me beneath High Ledge!" Gorsestar roared, beckoning his clan into the clearing. Everyone knew what day it was, due to Mother's immense bragging and boasting about this day. My mother, in fact, was still bragging.

"Seedkit, come here please," Gorsestar asked my sister, the oldest of my litter. Seedkit bounced up, and anyone could tell how excited she was. This lead to many giggles in the crowd. For once, I was smiling for my sister. Then I quickly remembered how she and Poppykit treated me. I still was smiling like an idiot, for some reason. I still don't know that reason today, and my puzzle will probably be forever unsolved.

"I now name you Seedpaw. May you have good luck in your training with your mentor: Nightpelt," he told the she-kit, now old enough to be called a she-cat. Nightpelt came up and licked Seedpaw's shoulder, and she did the same. The clan rang out in chants:

"Seedpaw!"

"Seedpaw!"

"Seedpaw!" they did this numerous times, and my littermate beamed with pride as she followed her mentor down. Now it was my turn.

"Fernkit, please come forth," Gorsestar said. I quickly made sure my pelt looked decent before I made my way up to the ThunderClan leader. My green eyes were lit up with excitement.

"I now name you Fernpaw. May you as well have good luck in your training with _your_ mentor: Nettletail," Gorsestar told me. I remember meeting Nettletail. She was as pretty as she was good at fighting. Hunting wasn't the best thing she could do, but she made me happy. And you'll see why. We both licked each other's shoulders and in that moment she said:

"I look forward to training you Fern _paw."_ I smiled at her words and nodded my head. Nettletail was going to be the best mentor ever, I knew that then, and I know she was now. Just then Gorsestar called for Poppykit. She bounced up the same way Seedkit did, as if she were copying her sister to get attention. I didn't blame her. It seemed that Seedkit got a lot of attention from both Mother and Father, and everyone else. Poppykit was just the follower, the cat that did everything to just be like one special cat.

"I now name you Poppypaw. May you have good luck in your training with your mentor: Jaggedfur." Poppykit looked stunned for a few moments. She wanted someone else to be her mentor, I knew it just by looking at her. I'm pretty sure everyone else could too. Her eyes were wide with shock and disgust. Jaggedfur was a very old senior warrior, so old it was surprising he wasn't in the elder's den by now. Jaggedfur was kind of like me, in a certain point of view. We both were called "ugly". While that was such a perfect moment, becoming an apprentice, my future was so much dimmer, living through countless tortures. I had no idea then, I was so innocent. I was blind from reality, the real world.

 **Thanks for reading Chapter I(1) of "UGLY"! Please review, follow, and favorite. Go check out my other stuff too! It's legit :)**

 **-Toaster Stroodal**


	2. Chapter II(2)

_Chapter II-_

 _No Longer Blind_

I woke up to sunshine against my light brown pelt that warm day. I saw Seedpaw standing in front of me smirking.

"What's so funny?" I asked her, knowing the reply would be some sort of nasty remark. Poppypaw was behind her, looking away from me. Did she not want to participate in whatever Seedpaw wanted her to do?

"You've slept in on you're first day of training. How pitiful. Just like your appearance!" Seedpaw's smirk grew even wider and more devilish. And for the first time in a long time, her words hurt. Poppypaw was just sitting around, not doing anything. I glared at my sisters.

"Well at least I'm not stuck up princesses like you two," I snapped back and padded out of the den. Seedpaw didn't seem to care. Poppypaw didn't seem to care. I soon realized that I _had_ slept in. I was wondering why Nettletail didn't awaken me that day, and at first, I was angry. I stormed across the clearing, and found her eating a mouse with Nightpelt.

"Why didn't you wake me up?!" I asked her furiously. Nettletail looked up at me with a smile, which somehow made me angrier. I was about to start to pout, when Nettletail said something.

"Not everybody is perfect. And for one to become perfect, they must be imperfect first. If you see my meaning, you'll know why I didn't wake you up, Fernpaw," she mewed calmly, keeping a smile of her face. Her words soothed me somehow, and I gave her a small smile back. Nettletail finished her mouse then stood up.

"Why don't we go for a walk around clan territory? It'll be your first time to see the outside world," she told me in her calm, soothing voice.

"Okay," I replied, completely forgetting about eating. We headed out of camp, and I gasped at what greeted me. The outside of camp was so much prettier than what I had in my dreams! I engulfed my surroundings, my eyes wanting to see more and more each second. Nettletail giggled.

"We're only just outside camp you know, there's still much more to see," she told me. I only nodded my head, my mouth in a small "o". We continued deeper into territory, the trees beginning to get thicker and thicker. They thinned out a bit, but then thickened. I was elated to see all the wonderful sights. Then Nettletail flicked her tail at me to stop for a moment.

"This is the border of WindClan and ThunderClan. Do NOT cross a border at any time, no matter what. The only time you may cross is when Gorsestar tells you that you can. Understood, Fernpaw?" Nettletail instructed, her face turning from amused to serious.

"I understand, Nettletail. Have you ever crossed the border without the leader's permission?" I asked. At the time, I didn't know what happened to Nettletail when I asked her that. She just stopped, filling the air with dead silence for a long, awkward moment.

"I'm sorry, was that question personal?" I asked, hanging my head down slightly from embarrassment. I was worried I had hurt her feelings, or made her "depressed" as my mother would say.

"Oh, no. You're fine," Nettletail replied, turning around to look at me. We toured the territory until sun-down, then headed back to camp. We ran into Nightpelt and Seedpaw on our way back. I sincerely wish we hadn't...

"Oh Fernpaw, how was your day?" she said, smiling like a sweet perfect little angel. I knew her true intentions, so I didn't answer. Nettletail smiled at Seedpaw.

"Hello, Seedpaw. Fernpaw's had a good day, oh and congrats on becoming and apprentice!" Nettletail told my sister sweetly.

"Thank you Nettletail!" she replied. Nightpelt stepped in the conversation.

"Today Seedpaw learned the hunting crouch. It wasn't that hard to teach because she's an exceptionally fast learner, and very skilled. Seedpaw was blessed from StarClan, I just know it!" Nightpelt boasted.

"That's good!" Nettletail mewed, nodding of approval.

"How about we see Fernpaw's hunting crouch and compare?" Seedpaw asked. _No, no, no..._ were my exact thoughts. I knew what she was trying to do. She wanted me to embarrass myself. I felt myself heat up. For some reason I _cared_ about embarrassing myself. I didn't want to! My heart began to race a million miles an hour, knowing ultimate humiliation was about to come. Because not only would two mentors and my sister see me screw up, Seedpaw would be sure to tell everybody I screwed up.

"That sounds nice," Nettletail said while Nightpelt nodded her head.

"Let's see it you two!" She smiled. Seedpaw lowered herself to the ground, but not too far down. She let her legs come slightly together, but just enough spread apart she could balance herself. She did a perfect pose. I gulped. I was sure to be embarrassed. And sadly, I was correct. I tried to copy her movements. I tried to it just like Seedpaw did. But it was all lopsided and wrong. I heard Seedpaw try to suppress a giggle, and Nightpelt nearly snorted. I hated them both down to the rotten core.

"Whatever," I said, straightening myself, trying to stay calm.

"It was good for your first try..." Nightpelt nodded, but I knew she was just trying to rescue me from the depths of embarrassment. She failed, but at least she tried.

"I'd say it was perfect for her first try. Seedpaw had more time to perfect it anyway. I'm sure Fernpaw will do as good someday," Nettletail said, and I immediately felt better. There was still one thing that pricked me. I didn't want to be _as_ good. I wanted to be _better._ Seedpaw just smiled.

"Don't worry, you'll get it someday," she said as sweetly as possible, then whispered in my ear,"and by someday I mean never!" I was left shocked as Nightpelt and my sister went ahead. Seedpaw was sure to tell every apprentice in the clan about her wonderful experience of seeing me mess up. I just knew she would.

"What's wrong? What did she say?" Nettletail asked, and I explained everything to mentor.

 **And that's it for Chapter II(2)! If you're wondering why I'm using Roman numerals for chapter numbers, it's because I need to memorize them for math, and I think doing this will help. Also, I think I need a better name for this story because "Ugly" is kinda plain, you know? So here are the names I want to use:**

 **Nothing More to Live for**

 **The Fault in our Life**

 **Fernpaw's Struggle**

 **Review and tell me which one I should do! Feel free to suggest your own too!**

 **Remember to follow and fav.! Fernpaw's well-being depends on it!**

 **-Toaster Stroodal**


	3. Chapter III(3)

_Chapter III_

 _Humiliation_

Fernpaw sulked back into camp, and it didn't take a genius to know what was going on with Seedpaw and the others.

"When Fernpaw did her hunting stance, it was _hilarious!_ She was all lopsided and didn't do a thing right! Not even Nettletail could help her fix that! Poor Fernpaw will probably be stuck as an apprentice forever," Seedpaw told Whiskerpaw, Dawnpaw, and Poppypaw. Nettletail scowled at my sister.

"I don't know how you've put up with your sister after all this time. Maybe you should tell Honeypelt, or maybe Bramble-" I quickly interrupted.

"I don't want to tell _anybody_ else...my father won't even care," I told her quickly. I didn't feel _comfortable_ telling anyone else. Not even my own mother.

"Suit yourself," Nettletail mewed,"but if I were in this situation, I'd tell my parents." I highly doubted she would. I went to my nest early, hoping the day had been a nightmare that had lasted forever. I was, of course, wrong. The next day, I was regretting I was ever born...

When I woke up, there were clouds surrounding the sky. I padded out of the den, realizing I was one of the first ones up. I recognized Whiskerpaw practicing some attacks with the air. He seemed oblivious to the fact that I was standing almost right beside him.

"Nice moves," I told him. He stopped for a moment to look at me.

"Oh hey, Fernpaw!" Whiskerpaw chirped. At first I thought it was going to be your pleasant everyday conversation, but it wasn't. In fact it was the opposite of pleasant.

"Congratulations on messing up your hunting crouch! What Seedpaw told me was hilarious! Maybe you should go and practice your hunting crouch before anyone wakes up, if you know what I mean," Whiskerpaw snorted with laughter. Right in my face. Right in _my face_. His words stung, and I tried to conceal it. Gossip was rearing it's ugly head in my face. And this was only the start of it all. I flopped down on the ground and decided to nap, or at the very least rest. The sky continued to get cloudier and cloudier. I continued to rest. Time flew by, and suddenly everybody was out and about, and our deputy Goldenbreeze, was organizing patrols. It wasn't long before Nettletail came out.

"Good morning Fernpaw!" she called, instantly spotting me. I stood up, my body protesting this action.

"Hi Nettletail," I mewed,"are we doing anything today?"

"Not for a while, I wanted to spend some time talking to Jaggedfur and the other mentors. You can spend your morning how you please," Nettletail smiled at me, and then she was off to go talk with the other mentors. They were speaking the foreign language "business", which I currently didn't understand.

"Hey Fernpaw!" I looked up and saw Mintpaw. I gave her a small smile.

"I hope you improve your hunting skills, by what I've heard, you've got a long way to go!" she told me, then walked off with a small giggle. My mood instantly decreased, and I hung my head low with embarrassment. Seedpaw had gone to extremes with her gossip, the extremes I wish she hadn't gone to. I was about to walk off when I heard someone call my name. I turned around and saw Briskpaw, his expression cheerful and giddy. What was to be happy about in such a glum morning?

"Good morning Fernpaw! Sorry about Mintpaw! Did she get to you?" he asked, as if there were sunshine and rainbows blasting out from the sky. There certainly weren't, at least I hoped not...

"Not only her. But thanks, you really didn't have to ask," I told him. Somehow my mood lightened when I talked to him. I didn't know why back then, but I was soon to find out.

"It's no problem! As her littermate, I know she can be big gossiper and a pest!" Briskpaw continued to ramble on, but I didn't really care. I just looked up at him, hardly paying attention to any word he said.

"Thanks for the little chat, Fernpaw!" Briskpaw then said, and he was off. I smiled at the brown tabby. He was kind of cute, in away. However, just as soon I has thought that, I shook it away from my mind. However, Briskpaw did make me feel better, and I was grateful for that. I could manage myself for the day, right?

 _To be continued..._

 **Yay! Thanks for reading Chapter III(3)! Also thank you so much for the reviews! I feel so special! I really like the title "The Truth Behind Words". Review which one I should do:  
**

 **The Fault in our Life**

 _ **or...**_

 **The Truth Behind Words  
**

 **Favorite and Follow for the sake of Fernpaw! Also, wish me luck for the tryouts of UIL if you know what that is! I'm trying out for Ready Writing(you write) and Maps, Graphs, and Charts(has to do with maps)**

 **-Toaster Stroodal**


	4. Chapter IV(4)

_Chapter IV_

 _The Torture_

I padded over to the freshkill pile, grabbed a squirrel, and then laid down. My stomach ached with hunger, and my mouth watered at the sight of food. I took a bite of the squirrel, carefully chewing then swallowing. I sighed and looked around me. The clouds kept thickening, threatening the clans with a possible thunderstorm. Seedpaw just then padded over to me with Whiskerpaw, Mintpaw, and Poppypaw. Poppypaw was just behind her, a blank expression on her face. I knew what this meant.

"Fernpaw, don't you think it's a bit gloomy out today?" Seedpaw asked, sighing. I flinched back.

"I don't want to talk, leave me alone!" I told her, backing away. I didn't want any of her torture, yet she didn't allow me the option of no torture. Seedpaw smirked devilishly. I tried to make a run for it, but Mintpaw caught me by my scruff.

"I don't think so!" she told me, her voice slightly muted.

"Let me go!" I shrieked, loud enough for the whole clan to hear. And most of the clan did hear. Nettletail dashed over to me.

"Let Fernpaw go, _now_!" Nettletail demanded. Mintpaw immediately dropped me. Briskpaw rushed over, along with Mother.

"Fernpaw are you all right?" she asked, checking me for any wounds. Briskpaw stood still for a moment.

"A-are you o-okay?" He stuttered, stunned at the sight that came across his eyes. Nightpelt padded over, obviously furious. I looked up at her, and she looked sternly at Mintpaw, Seedpaw, and Poppypaw.

"Mintpaw, you should be ashamed of your actions! What caused this behavior?" Nightpelt scolded. Mintpaw shrank down low to the ground.

"I-I d-don't know," she stammered, her eyes wide with fear.

"Then why did you do it if you didn't know why you were doing it?" Nightpelt growled. Mother held me close to her, and I was glad she did. I buried my nose in her fur.

"B-b-because I-I d-d-on't like her," Mintpaw managed to stutter out. Nightpelt shook her head.

"You will be _thoroughly_ be searching the elders for ticks and cleaning their nests for a moon, and further punishment may happen. Now, the rest of you shall also be confined to the camp for a moon for doing nothing!" Nightpelt hissed, then took a step back.

"Did anybody tell you to do this?" Nettletail added in, even more furious than Nightpelt. I was terrified of the two mentors for that one moment. Before Mintpaw answered, Seedpaw sent her the meanest glare I had ever seen.

"N-no," she told Nettletail. Seedpaw stopped her glare, but still looked as if she were going to explode with anger. Poppypaw looked as equally terrified as me.

"I'm s-sorry! P-please d-don't p-punish me!" she begged for mercy, though she was as innocent as a fox who had just killed.

"You shall get the same treatment as the others, and don't ask again!" Nightpelt hissed, just as Gorsestar came out of his den.

"What happened?" he asked, quite concerned about what had just happened. I was still terrified, petrified with shock at what had all just happened.

"Mintpaw has just been caught hurting another clan member. _Purposely_ ," Nettletail growled. Gorsestar's expression darkened.

"I assume the others just stood around and did nothing to stop this?" Gorsestar growled. Nightpelt nodded. Jaggedfur was watching from afar, and then padded up.

"Poppypaw I am disappointed in you!" he said in his old, scratchy voice. Poppypaw was sulking, ashamed of herself. The others weren't as upset and infuriated as her, but they still felt ashamed at what they'd done. Anyone could tell. Briskpaw padded over to me.

"You're okay, r-right?" He stammered. I could tell he was as scared as I was. I gave him a slight smile.

"I'm all right," I said, my voice muffled by my mother's warm fur. At least someone cared.

 **Thanks for reading Chapter IV(4)! Thank you for continued support, and don't forget to tell me which name you want! Don't forget to check out all my other stories and junk! Review, follow, and favorite because listen, the more reviews, favs, and follows, the more I update and the more hope I have for a future career of writing!**

 **-Toaster Stroodal**


	5. Chapter V(5)

**I'M BACK BABY, WITH ALL NEW ATTITUDE AND MORE CRAZINESS! :D  
**

 _Chapter V_

 _Nightmare  
_

It was dark. I couldn't see. I didn't think I wanted to see. My paws lead me across dark, dead grass, until I saw light. I tried to cross to the light, but I couldn't make it across. There was an invisible border between me and light. Suddenly, a chorus of voices echoed around me. They weren't friendly at all.

"Fernpaw!" I became fearful of my surroundings, and began to run. Maybe I could outrun these surroundings. But there was no escaping. It seemed just as the voices became faint, they were loud again.

"Help!" I had screeched, and then I had finally woken up to the night sky. It was just a nightmare. I sighed with relief, and poked my head outside, the air had a fresh, damp feel to it. I opened my jaws to let the scents in. Every scent was as perfect as could be, except one wretched scent lingered in the air. I tried to locate it, and half of me wishes I hadn't. But I had followed my stupid instincts until I had found the source. I had gasped in horror and shrieked. It was Briskpaw, lying on the ground, body limp and cold. The majority of the camp had woken up to my screech, and quickly dashed towards me. They were about to start complaining, until they saw Briskpaw's dead body. When his mother, Littleclaw saw him, she nearly fainted from disbelief. _Who would do this?!_ I thought, and buried my nose in his fur. _Why?_ I shouted out to StarClan. Of course, the fox-hearts we called ancestors gave me no mercy. This is the moment in my life when I stopped believing in StarClan. First of all, they had let me have a ugly light brown pelt with horrifying dull green eyes. _Then_ they just sat around and did nothing while my clanmates taunted me. _I'm never going to look up to them again,_ I vowed. The days happened as blurs after that.

Hunt.

Hunt.

Fight.

Taunted.

Made fun of.

Teased.

Hunt.

This is what my measly week consisted of. The medicine cat had examined Briskpaw's fur, and confirmed that it had been a non-physical killing, but the digestion of poison, most likely. I didn't listen. I was content on the thought that someone had murdered him.

"Fernpaw...Fernpaw!" Nettletail called. I walked forward stiffly. What did she want me to do now?

"You've been acting strangely ever since Briskpaw died. Are you okay?" she asked, staring at me with her concern filled eyes.

"Does it look like I'm okay?" I snapped. I wasn't in the mood for a pity party with Nettletail. I had better things to do, why couldn't my mentor understand that? I regret not pity partying with her now.

"No it doesn't, but I'm trying to cheer you up. Go ahead and snap at me, but I only want you to be happy!" she retorted. I didn't have time for this. No time at all.

"You don't know how it feels to have a loss do you? You didn't have everyone bully you! You didn't have to go through the fox-dung of life!" I screamed in her face, then dashed away from her. _Why couldn't anyone understand?_ I took a moment to look back at my mentor. Grief filled her eyes, and she looked pitiful. I quickly turned away. Before I had any time to think about what I was doing, I was out of ThunderClan. Out of the clan territories.

 **I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE NEW CHAPTER OF THE TRUTH BEHIND WORDS! *eats catmint* I'M HOMECOMING QUEEN(not really :( )! *eats some more catmint* REMEMBER TO REVIEW, ME LOVERS OF THIS STORY, AND REMEMBER TO RETHINK YOUR LIFE, ME HATERS OF THIS STORY!**

 **Sorry, too much catmint. Don't forget to Follow, Favorite, and Review this story! I'm so sorry I took so long to get this chapter out! Really, really sorry! Going through tough times, but with me best friends...**

 **Reviewers**

 **Followers**

 **Favoriters(is that a thing?)**

 **and catmint,**

 **I was able to get through it. Also, I might change the title back to "Ugly", I'm a little indecisive here. Also, ignore my review about reading my other story, because I deleted it because I didn't like it. However...CHECK OUT MY NEW STORY "Where is Home?" BECAUSE I HAVE A REALLY GOOD FEELING 'BOUT IT!**

 **Sorry. Love you lovers as always!**

 **-Toaster Stroodal**


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